I fucking hate money

So after 15 years of a soul sucking job where my entire existence was making other people rich while simultaneously over drafting and having to pay for food with credit cards, I finally got a fulfilling job that paid a decent amount. I was excited to get out of debt in only a few years because it still takes a while to recover from mountains of debt even when you start making decent money.

I’m making enough money that my partner and I were able to give ourselves an allowance to spend on whatever we wanted without having to share it or even discuss it. We agreed on a certain amount, but had to scale back after a few months as we found ourselves getting hit with unexpected bills and refused to go back to credit cards. I won’t specify how much, but our combined allowance was almost enough to cover a car payment on the cheapest new car we could find so not a lot, but more than we’d ever had available in the past.

I wanted to do a “No Spend Month” but in order to do so I needed my partner onboard since we share a bank account and it doesn’t work if only one of us does it. I did the math and if we limited our spending for one month to just our bills and our allowance we’d have about $5000 leftover to put in savings. I was shocked because that means we’re spending about $5000 extra per month because we rarely have any money left over for savings.

I tried to figure out where the money was going and it’s mostly on Amazon purchases, takeout, and other extras my partner needs to keep the household happy. I only spend money out of the main bank account when I buy food for the family or presents for the family during the holidays so the bulk of that is spent by my partner.

Now this doesn’t bother me, I’m glad they’re happy and that’s all I really care about. The reason this is in the venting category though is because I wish I could take a percentage of that money and donate it or give it to friends, family, and strangers in need because that’s a lot of extra money that could help buy somebody groceries for a week or pay an unexpected repair bill. Currently I allocate most of my allowance to supporting others with about 50% going towards charities but it’s a small fraction compared to that $5000 leftover each month.

In the end, it’s not really a discussion I want to have and I’m going to just accept it that the extra money is going to my family in some way. If I want to give more money to help people in need I’ll need to just earn more and help people with that money, at least that’s my plan for now.

💝 Azeth

Venting money family life